I had a rough start at my new school..as in trying to fit in the community.

It all started when there was a rumor about me messaging and liking this boy.

It was as if I’ve been thrown in a deep hole and what was with me were all rumors and I wasn’t able to climb out or had enough fresh air to breath in..I was trapped.

Then my friendship with my  ‘new’ best friend ended. It lasted a month, not kidding.  She wanted to be my best friend and I have this sickening feeling about it but in the end I agreed. Big mistake. No turning back. Then she ended it for some reasons, at the wrong time and place but it was relief for me, weight been lifted off my shoulder and I was relaxed for a while..

Until I had an argument with this guy, who backbites people and denies every bad act he does. I was trying to settle it but then it got worse and worse. It finally settles when teachers were involved.

Remember my bestie who dumped me? Well she comes back to me and want us to be best friend. I tried my  most nicest, polite ever way to say no. Not to break her heart, because her heart is very fragile. She asked and asked and asked and I refuse.

Probably a week later, another girl asked me can she be my best friend through text. Unexpectedly, it never cross my mind of her wanting to be my best friend. I guess I was too busy to notice all the little signs. After thinking about it, it totally makes sense, all  the signs she gave me was because she wants to be my best friend. I needed space and time to think.  I was stupid to say yes right away. Not that I don’t like her but everything is happening so fast its as if I’ve been left behind in time.

Soon my used-to-be-best friend founds out I’ve got a new best friend and was really jealous . Let’s just say they hate each other, and I wasn’t part of it but yeah. I don’t know much it was just between them two.

Today a human bean said my science teacher has hysteria. I wasn’t sure of what I heard and that’s why I asked my classmate about it. I guess that’s gossip (I don’t know that’s why the name of this post is called Lost). Not aware of my surrounding, my science teacher was right behind us! She must have turned around and heard me so I asked her and she said they’re all no true and this rumors should end here.

Big mistake. My two friends scolded me for asking something personal..sorry I’ll never ever do that again now I feel really bad and I’m going to apologize to my teacher tomorrow.

When I reach home, a message was sent by the W.M. saying about whatever I know about people should be kept to yourself and don’t expose it and yeah you get it.

I don’t know what’s right and wrong, because I’m learning from my mistakes. I make lots of mistakes.

It’s better to shut my mouth and never ever talk again but again people will ask why the sudden quietness.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t want people to worry about me.

I’m so stupid and so short-tempered.

I can’t avoid falseness.

I want to be free from negativity.

But escaping from it isn’t free.

No one understand, because they think this tall, smiley, very annoying, talkative, ugly, insecure, untalented, dumb girl is fine.